A survivor who shared her story with the New Zealand Royal Commission Abuse in Care inquiry opens up about her life as a Jehovah’s Witness
Written by: Miss Usato last updated on: September 26th, 2024
In 2018, New Zealand launched a significant case study with the Royal Commission on Abuse in Care. In that study, among many other religious denominations, they focused on the Jehovah’s Witnesses. Aiming to uncover the organization’s handling of abuse allegations and its impact on survivors, the inquiry has sparked conversations about accountability, transparency, and the urgent need for reform within religious institutions. Notably, Jehovah’s Witnesses were the only religious group that sought exclusion from the study, making multiple attempts to withdraw, which resulted in fines and ultimately failed. Despite their efforts, the Case Study was published in July 2024. The Jehovah’s Witnesses included.
In 2022, a courageous survivor of abuse, Sina Dubbleman, was interviewed by the New Zealand Royal Commission, highlighting the profound injustices she faced within the Jehovah’s Witness community. Her story dives into the systemic failures that have harmed countless victims and serve as a beacon of hope for others suffering in silence. By bravely presenting her case to the Royal Commission, she hopes to inspire others to speak out, challenging the religious structure that discourages accountability and perpetuates guilt. Her journey toward healing is a powerful reminder of the need for a safer, more supportive future for all survivors. Through her courage, we hope to empower more victims to share their truths and seek justice. This article was written after interviewing Sina and reviewing her statements for the Abuse in Care Case Study in July 2024.
This is her story
Sina was immersed in the Jehovah’s Witness community when her mother was baptized in her early years. Growing up on a small sheep farm with her unbelieving father (at the time), mother, and brother David, she quickly noticed how their mother’s devotion intensified after her baptism. As many children in this sect are accustomed to, her childhood revolved strictly around congregation meetings and other Jehovah’s Witness members. “I could only associate outside of school with other Jehovah’s Witnesses. The missed opportunities, especially in my teenage years, were hard. I felt isolated and pressured.” When Sina was three months old, her mom and dad started selling Nutri-Metics, which required long hours away from home. Once a year, they went overseas for ten to fourteen days. Sina’s mom often needed help in taking care of her.
Sina’s mom had family members watching over little Sina, but then decided to turn to a married couple in their local congregation. Ruth and Bill S. “They were like grandparents to me initially, in their sixties. My mum looked up to Ruth like a mother figure; she was well-known in the congregation. Bill took care of the grounds and was an elder in our congregation; they were both well-liked.” They lived in Landsdowne, in an old villa whose property lay behind a school. Sina described her time spent with Bill and his wife, Ruth, as a facade of care that hid the horror of the abuse she endured. Sina went into full detail about the exact layout of the house, how to get into each room, and what doors were closed and opened at all times; she then described where she had stayed. “The spare bedroom where I slept was first on the right, by the big lounge. Ruth and Bill slept in separate bedrooms across the house from each other. Bill’s bedroom was by the spare bedroom. The room had high ceilings, two beds, and a wooden wardrobe.”
Sina then opens up about her abuse.
“I was only about three years old when the abuse began. I blocked out so much, only remembering in blurry snippets. When I was sexually abused again by someone else in my teenage years, it all came flooding back. Bill groomed me, making me feel complicit in the abuse,” she recounted. “He told me inappropriate things and used to give me rules about not allowing anyone else to perform what he did. He often did this when Ruth went out. He taught me to keep it a secret. I would ask to go play on the school’s playground nearby, and he would say, “Only if you are a good girl,” and I knew I was to do something sexual. Instilling fear that I would lose my playground privileges if I told anyone.” This went on for years. Sina remembers by the time she was five, the abuse worsened even further.
As she shared her fragmented memories, it became clear how the abuse had shaped her understanding of love and trust. Sina was forced to be in Bill and Ruby’s care and depended on them for years, with Bill enforcing her dependency on him. “Bill would often come into my room when Ruth had gone to bed and kissed me inappropriately; he used to smell garlic as they ate it every day. I often tried to block it all out. Still, the trauma lingered, surfacing in unexpected ways throughout my life,” She became accustomed to the abuse as normality. When she was six, Sina remembers her and her mother going to an assembly with them in the same car. “Right before my father entered the religion, my mother and I picked up Bill and Ruth for a two-day assembly. On the way home, Bill stayed in the backseat with me. It was cold in the car, and Bill would have a blanket across our knees up to our middle; I was sitting next to him on the way home, and he began fiddling with me over my knickers under the blanket. I always felt uncomfortable. After that trip, we dropped them off, and I woke up to my mom finding me curled up in the fetal position on the car floor. She woke me up and said, “What on earth are you doing on the floor curled up in a ball?” I was numb, and I could only spit out that I felt funny. That must have been when my mom realized something wasn’t right. We went to Bill and Ruth’s house for lunch soon after, and she asked to talk to Bill alone. After that day, Ruth was less strict and more soft and kind to me.” Sina did not have to stay at their house anymore. Yet, instead of going to the authorities and asking Sina about what happened with Bill, her mom chose another Jehovah’s Witness family in the congregation to watch her.
“I loved the next family that took me under their care. They were what it was meant to be like to stay with a good family.” The abuse had stopped for Sina with Bill, but it didn’t end there. With the memories of abuse deep inside her mind, Sina tried to move on. Then, in her teenage years, she faced sexual harassment from another member of their congregation, Peter C. Sina, who became friends with Peter’s wife when she was thirteen years old. “I loved spending time with her, so I would stay the night when they moved to a nearby farm. Yet, I was getting an odd feeling when I stayed with them. The spare bedroom door couldn’t shut properly; it was always open. Later, I discovered I wasn’t the only one of their visitors who felt like they were being watched.” Still, Sina continued to stay the night. “One night, Peter and I had to take a long trip to the kingdom hall and back for a meeting when his wife, my friend, had a migraine and couldn’t attend.” Peter had sexually harassed Sina in the car on the way back from the meeting. That was the first time. Peter apologized immediately afterward, and Sina tried to shrug it off. At this time, she was helping them out on their farm, and that was where she was sexually assaulted further by Peter. After the first instance of assault on the farm, she refused invitations to spend the night. Then her friend called and asked for some help with shearing. Sina agreed, expecting her friend to be there. She wasn’t. That day, Peter sexually assaulted Sina again. “I froze; I felt like Ice. I couldn’t move.” After that assault, presumably noting her frozen state, Peter mumbled, ‘I’m sorry’ again and got off of her. “That is when all of my past abuse with Bill S. started flooding back.”
When Sina was fifteen, she confided in her best friend and cousin about what Peter had done. They persuaded Sina to go to an elder, so she did. Sina went to a local congregation elder, Kevin T., and told him about the sexual assault. Instead of attempting to aid Sina, listen to her, or call the authorities to investigate, Kevin told Sina’s mom that Sina needed to approach Peter about the assaults herself.
After Sina refused to do so, triggered by the memories, her mom invited Peter to their house. They sat in an uncomfortable state, and when Sina was asked what she would like to say to Peter, she froze again. So, Sina’s mom asked Peter, “Well, is there anything you want to say to Sina?” Peter replied, “I am sorry if I made you uncomfortable about anything, but nothing happened.” After that, her mom thanked Peter for coming over, and he left. Her mom then returned to the elders and said it was all a big misunderstanding. “When I went back to the elders and dared to speak up about it again, I was met with disbelief from them and my mother. The two-witness rule was brought up; nobody saw Peter assault me, which meant my experiences were dismissed,” she shared, highlighting the failure of the elders to protect her. Sina felt trapped within the confines of the Jehovah’s Witness judicial process, only being fifteen years old when this occurred.
“No one came and asked me how I was; even my mom believed nothing had happened. Since no one else was there to witness the assaults, it was swept under the rug.” Sina believes this was quickly pushed aside because Peter’s father, Tim C., was one of the elders in their congregation who learned of the assaults. Years later, Tim’s daughter Claire, Peter’s sister, exposed and accused her father of sexual abuse. He was disfellowshipped and then reinstated, with no contact with the authorities. Tim was an active Jehovah’s Witness until his passing, and there was no justice served about the abuse.
In this organization, if a person shows that he has repented or believes he didn’t commit the crime, he will be reinstated after some time. Then, you are encouraged to welcome them back into the fold. By the sinner, being shunned by the congregation is your punishment.
Despite all of the past abuse, Sina loved Jehovah and felt she was supposed to get baptized, so she did when she was sixteen years old. After baptism, Sina was dating a man her mother disapproved of, who rarely attended meetings and was not a baptized witness. Her mom was so adamant about them not dating that when Sina was in a car accident, she brought an elder along and visited Sina in the emergency room. She had the nurses wheel Sina out into the hallway, and they lectured her about becoming unevenly yoked by an unbeliever. After that, Sina became pregnant, and she and her boyfriend moved to another town to avoid scrutiny from the witnesses and start a new life. Despite her efforts to move on, Sina’s father was sent to beg Sina to return, persuading her to go to the Kingdom Hall and sit with a judicial committee. Being an active witness at this time, Tim C.- Peter’s father, was on her judicial committee for her disfellowshipping. Out of the three elders on her committee, Tim persistently asked Sina uncomfortable and inappropriate questions about the details of her and her boyfriend’s intimacy. This occurred after the elders were made aware of the abuse she endured with Bill and Peter. She was disfellowshipped at seventeen years old for having sex before marriage. Sina sat through the announcement of her being removed from the only ones she knew, and she lost all of her family and friends.
“Growing up as a witness in the same small town my whole life and getting disfellowshipped at a young age was traumatic. I had lived my whole life with only having my parents and friends in the congregation in it.” Sina and her boyfriend got married, and he started studying with the Witnesses. She opened up about the loneliness and depression she felt, having no one she knew around but her husband since being shunned. “It was a barbaric way of enforcing fear, making you feel like you had to conform to avoid punishment.” Sina’s husband was allowed to associate with witnesses, leaving her alone and shunned at meetings in the back of the hall. Her mother started writing many letters to her, who was still an active witness during her pregnancy, adding Watchtower articles to the mail. “When we got married, only my dad came down, and he stayed with us. When I had our son a month later, my mum came down to be in the hospital with me. However, she wouldn’t stay at our place afterward, as I was still disfellowshipped.”
Unfortunately, by the time Sina was sixteen and spoke up about the sexual abuse she endured with Bill, he had passed away. “The impact of my trauma is ongoing, mainly emotionally and psychologically. I always felt it was my fault, that I had done something very wrong. Then, the fact that once I got older and realized that the elders in my congregation could have prevented this, the anger at them set in.” Sina recounts a time right before she was disfellowshipped; after the elders had known about the abuse with Bill, she had gone to an event the congregation threw. They had a projector displaying photos of congregation members, and in that collection was a photo of herself as a child with Bill. “I was livid that they did that. Even though Bill is dead and buried, I feel that the Jehovah’s Witnesses are to blame. To this day, I am unsure if I will ever get over the anger.”
Despite the pain, Sina’s journey is one of resilience. Her partner and children have left the clutches of the Jehovah’s Witness organization. “The abuse has left lasting scars, but I’ve worked hard to reclaim my identity,” she shared. “I am happy now; I have a fantastic partner who understands everything I have been through. I have three loving adult kids whom I love and adore. I was able to raise them without the indoctrination and the abuse I endured. I give them whatever I can. I have amazing friends. I love my job. I see a lovely counselor who has helped me so much. I am finally deprogrammed from the Jehovah’s Witness cult. It was a long road, but it was worth it. I feel that mental freedom is worth all the black hole periods in the early part of leaving the organization.”
Sina, like many of us advocates and survivors of abuse from this cult, shares this vision for change. “I want my experiences to empower others. We need to break the silence surrounding abuse. Religious organizations must take a firm stance against known offenders. Anyone with a history of abuse should be barred from congregations. We need policies that protect survivors and ensure accountability.” Sina believes that all individuals, regardless of their societal status, should face consequences for their actions without the protection of name suppression. “People deserve the right to protect their innocent children,” she concluded.
The reason to shed light on this story is the importance of holding people and organizations accountable and ensuring that survivors of abuse are supported and believed.
After Sina aided the New Zealand Royal Commission and gave her story, she found out that Bill S. had sexually abused two other women before her, and she’s sure there were more.
It is crucial to speak out against any form of sexual or physical abuse. The parents, Ruth and Bill S., Peter and Tim C., and the elders who remained silent while aware of Sina’s abuse are just a few examples among millions of Jehovah’s Witnesses worldwide who failed to report abuse to the authorities. Out of all the instances of abuse in this article, not one was convicted before they passed away, nor did anyone aware of the abuse go to the authorities, except Sina herself. Many victims, like Sina, were silenced by the oppressive two-witness rule or pressured to keep quiet by those who chose silence and reputation over justice. The law must always intervene in cases of abuse. Ignoring or dismissing someone’s suffering is neither humane nor godly—it is a betrayal of their pain and their fight for justice. AvoidJW and JWChildAbuse catalyze change and transparency. We want to encourage others to find their voices and advocate for a safer, more compassionate world.
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