More than 10 years revealing secrets because there is no excuse for secrecy in religion – w1997 June 1; Dan 2:47; Matt 10:26; Mark 4:22; Luke 12:2; Acts 4:19, 20.
Jan Nilsen gets ready for another round in Court as a Witness for the State of Norway in Jehovah’s Witnesses’ appeal for state funding.
When Jan Nilsen learns that the Jehovah’s Witnesses have presented his father as a Witness in their upcoming case against the State of Norway in February, he questions religious freedom and what impact it has on the family dynamic. He wonders if the familial sacrifices are worth the freedom.
As the State of Norway gets ready for another round in court with the Jehovah’s Witnesses, one topic will be at the center of the case, like dirty laundry hanging out for the public to see: broken family ties; where children no longer see their parents; where parents no longer want to have contact with their children. All in the name of religion. Built on a unique interpretation of Biblical texts. It’s a polarized view of the words of Jesus when he walked among us on earth.
“I came to bring, not peace, but a sword”
This time when I go into court with the Jehovah’s Witnesses, the whole scenario becomes more literal for me. I will testify for the third time in three years for the state. This time my own father is on the opposing Witness list. Jan Nilsen’s father has since withdrawn from the list of Witnesses for the Jehovah’s Witnesses. No reason for this withdrawal has been given*
As the legal matter be decided in court, I will not say much about it here other than that I of course recognize my father’s absolute right to present his point of view, just as I know that he recognizes my corresponding right. Consequently, I have some thoughts about the human and theological aspects that are not suitable before a human judge in the Court of Appeal. I present them here.
“Do not think that I came to bring peace to the earth; I came to bring, not peace, but a sword. For I came to cause division, with a man against his father, and daughter against her mother … Whoever has greater affection for his son or daughter than for me me is not worthy of me.” – Matthew 10:34, 35, 37.
Jesus himself said this when he was here on earth, according to Matthew 10, here quoted from the New World Translation (NWT), the Jehovah’s Witnesses’ translation of the Bible.
Is what will unfold in the Borgarting Court of Appeal over the the next two weeks a fulfillment of Jesus’ words? Is this something he wanted? Is it a signal that Jehovah’s Witnesses are those who fulfill Jesus’ command, by always putting their religion above the close bond between their immediate family?
When I look at my children and know that I would never, never, never, ever think that my bond with them would be broken if they grew up believing, thinking, meaning or being anything other than what I may have wanted for them, am I then an enemy of Jesus?
Is that really what Jesus’ message was to us? Was his prophecy a wish? A command? Or did he foresee what is happening now would result in a Pharisaical attitude to rules and human commandments that would tear families apart in his name? Who knows?
The Return of the Prodigal Son
I see another Jesus described: someone who preferred to be on the edge of the ditch, among those who struggled, with the misfits, those who were stepped on, even the crooks and deviants. There he showed his love. Meanwhile, he raged against the hypocritical religious leaders who imposed heavy commandments and rules that broke those same people.
I also read Jesus’ parable of the prodigal son. There he told a story about a father who, when he saw his wayward son far away, long before the situation was clarified or even before the son apologized, he ran towards his son, and poured out his full unconditional love upon the young man.
So what did Jesus really mean? Maybe we have to find our own path, decide for ourselves when we look our own children in the eyes, and consider what is most important in this world. Maybe that was his message: that we ourselves are responsible for our choices, for how we treat those closest to us, regardless of what we are told by religious leaders who interpret the text on our behalf?
My father and I see the situation in completely opposite ways and make our choices accordingly. Maybe one of us is right, or maybe we’re both wrong. The only certainty is that we can’t both be right.
The Greatest Price to Pay is Love
If my father’s worldview is correct, and he belongs to the only true religion, led by the Governing Body of Jehovah’s Witnesses who neither claim to be inspired or infallible but require absolute loyalty and obedience to their direction, then he is right when he follows their instructions that clearly state that he should put his religious beliefs above family ties and severely limit contact with his son. I am a son who has failed to embrace the greatest gift he could give me: an upbringing in the Truth, to accept the only true religion, the narrow path into Paradise. Who would really want such a son anyway? It must be a difficult choice. But he does what his God asks him to do, no matter the cost.
If my worldview is correct, I have made a vital choice. I have chosen to leave an all-consuming religion that is simply not true. I have chosen to protect my mental health and well-being and I want to give my children a better life than the one I had. This is a choice based primarily on love for them, but it also a burning desire to live a real life based on what I believe in. And it is the person that I am.
I am willing to pay the greatest price for such a choice because it is a choice based on love for my family and myself.
My family’s reaction, which is exactly what one would expect based on the education they have received, is a confirmation that the choice they made is the correct one. Their behavior is a sadness that I have to live with. My parents do not have the unconditional love for me that I have for my children. They put the instructions from their religious leaders above everything.
So here we are. It is what it is.
As father and son, we are two witnesses who will enter Room K31. Each of us will tell our version of events in the coming weeks.
In turn, similar stories will unfold, one more heartbreaking than the other. There are folks living their lives, hopes shattered of ever having a good life with their family. There are faithful Jehovah’s Witnesses whose apostate children, siblings, and grandchildren have fallen into the abyss. These are apostate children who already at a young age have had to manage alone without their loved ones. They are alone in a strange and dark world that they were warned against throughout their upbringing.
Freedom Requires Courage
Who has the right to what? Does an organization have the right to exercise its power in the name of religion at the expense of the individuals’ right to freedom of thought and belief? Outside are the commentators with their cool analyses, observing from a distance. Inside, large sums of money are involved, not just with the Jehovah’s Witnesses, but with other religions who fear the restrictions and conditions will be applied to their funding.
In the middle, are me and my father. Likewise, there are Noomi, Leander, Rolf, Hilde, Merethe, Maria, Tony, and others with their stories. I bow my head in gratitude that I do not have to alone in the court room. I also thank all those who have told their stories through the media in recent years. There was Ida and Louise who related their heart-breaking stories to Brennpunk. There there is Ashley with KK, and Therese who gave everything. All of you, who found the courage to speak out, it would not have been manageable without you.
What we all have in common is that this is not about law. It is not about money or recognition. It is not about punishment, or whatever judgment the Judges make from their legal point of view. It is not about winning because we will never get back what we lost anyway. No one will come and mend our wounds, regardless of the outcome of the case.
For us, it is about grief. It is about looking back on everything and and asking the big questions – Was it meant to be? Was this what you wanted, Jesus? Is this what religion was supposed to be? What is freedom? Who do we want to protect? What values do we stand for? Who made the right choice? Who ruined everything? Who attempted to sacrifice his Isaac to prove his loyalty?
No lawyer in the world can answer these questions. However, we must try as best we can. If nothing else, we tried. We said something.
Let us be remembered as those who dared to speak out, on behalf of all those who couldn’t.