Armageddon Fatigue
Noun: An event which creates unnecessary expectation believing it portends the onset of the Great Tribulation.

Example: “There was no soya milk at the store today. Do you think it’s started?”

Triple ‘A’ Club
Alternative title: Available after Armageddon

Expression: A belief that one will wait for marriage until after Armageddon. Popular in congregations with a ratio of ten sisters to one bachelor and unmarried sisters over thirty.

Example: “Brothers tend not to talk to me even though I’m a pioneer and have my own bike. They must realise I’m triple ‘A’.”

Peacock Syndrome

Expression: A syndrome effecting younger brothers who, having proved academically useless, feel they’ve found their calling by carrying a pole with a mic on the end. 

Example: “Well, Sophie. Handling the mic isn’t for everyone. It’s a steep learning curve. Some weaker brothers bail after the first week.”