Originally published in German by Bayerischer Rundfunk on July 14 2022 and written by Barbara Weiss
They were Jehovah’s Witnesses and did missionary work on their front doors with the Watchtower magazine. One day they left. The way out of the religious community is often associated with great human suffering. Dropouts support each other.
With the magazine “Wachturm” in hand, she proselytized on the streets and on front doors in Bavaria. But one day Esther Gebhard turned his back on the Christian community with around 170,000 members in Germany (8.5 million worldwide). A difficult path that involved a lot of suffering.
Esther’s ancestors were Jehovah’s Witnesses. Two of her aunts were executed during the Nazi regime for their beliefs. Esther guards her aunt’s farewell letter from prison like a treasure. It’s her family history. “You feel like a nag if you trample on what others were beheaded for,” she says. Despite this, she left the faith community as a young woman.
“I could no longer withstand the pressure that was being exerted. I couldn’t and didn’t want to live like this anymore.” Esther Gebhard
She associates memories of her childhood with a lot of fear. The images of the Flood, which can be found in every children’s Bible, caused her to feel mortal. Anyone who does not believe in Jehovah will be carried away, destroyed. And that day is not far off. When she left about 30 years ago, she was unmarried and pregnant. Since then she has lost contact with her family.
At the time, the woman from Hohenpeissenberg felt that leaving the company was a social death. She has lost her entire environment, she says. “For me it was my father, all my friends, the people who made me who I was.” After they left, they changed sides of the street to avoid an encounter.
The music helped her. Esther Gebhard learned the double bass and began to sing. As a singer in the women’s band “Die Bayerische Sieben” and in the party band “Saragossa” she discovered a new world and found a new family, so to speak. “Singing has a lot to do with the soul and psyche, it’s a kind of therapy,” she says.
Despite everything, she still can’t completely free herself from the religious community. “Although I was physically absent from Jehovah’s Witnesses, the teachings stayed like a bubble in my head for many, many years,” she recalls.
It took more than two decades before she was able to free herself from the fear in her head. She found a lot of support, but outsiders still could not understand what she had felt in her childhood. The 52-year-old non-medical practitioner now writes everything down in a book. That helps her. And should help others too.
She is also involved in the “JZ Help” association. A contact point for former members of the faith community. She has just organized a nationwide meeting for the members of the association in Augsburg. About 50 came, also from Switzerland and Austria. Below: Udo Obermayer. He has to start all over again in his mid-50s. All alone. “I have four children and seven grandchildren,” he says. However, he does not know exactly about the grandchildren. He no longer has any contact.
At the meeting in Augsburg, there are not only alumni, but also those who struggle with their belief in Jehovah but are afraid, as they say, of losing their social network. It’s a “kind of psychological suffering” that’s incredibly challenging, says one man who prefers to remain anonymous.
The Jehovah’s Witnesses have the status of a public corporation. There are always arguments about how to deal with people who break with the religious community. Also in court. In Augsburg, however, at the club meeting, it’s all about working together, about exchanging experiences.
Esther Gebhard is incredibly relieved, as she says. Before the meeting, she often asked herself, “Will the offer be accepted? Are people coming or are they afraid or concerned?” But the worries were unfounded. In Augsburg everyone is there, even more than have registered. They get to know each other, eat and drink. The first strands of a new social network are being tied.
At the request of the BR, the Jehovah’s Witnesses refer to their website. It says that Jehovah’s Witnesses who are no longer active or who are gradually losing contact with the community are not shunned. Esther Gebhard experienced it differently.
JZ Help is a registered association in Augsburg/Germany: VR 202101, with members Germany, Austria, Switzerland and Italy.
Its Board of Management comprises Mr. Udo Obermayer (President) and Dr. Regina Spiess (Vice President).
Lester Somrah writes about the beliefs and practices of Jehovah’s Witnesses on his social media platforms and was baptized as a member in 1998.
