If you haven’t watched or listened to the secret recording of Robin Bass calling the Watchtower branch in Australia to discuss the Jehovah’s Witnesses reluctance to sign up to the redress scheme, you must. Towards the end she mentions Jehovah’s Witnesses’ plans to build a new movie studio in Sydney.
That recording is a nice lead in to this article.
In February, the branch office of Jehovah’s Witnesses sent out a request to congregation elders to locate publishers of Jehovah’s Witnesses who are in good standing to audition for parts in their audio/video productions. Obviously they won’t be paid for their time or effort. Nor will their travel expenses be reimbursed. In fact, this is one of those special “privileges” that Jehovah’s Witnesses think they are experiencing.
Here is that request, as a parody.
There is a growing need for approved publishers to assist as muppets or puppets in our propaganda productions. For this reason the Australasia Regional Video Team (RVT) would like your help with locating these publishers for the purpose of arranging general auditions. In order to better understand what is involved, we ask that each puppeteer please watch the video that will be shared with approved publishers – see the following link: http://auditioninvite.jw.org.au
After having watched this video, the Congregation Service Committee should close their eyes and have one of the Committee members talk out loud for about 5 minutes to the four walls. Afterwards, when they feel they’ve got some special powers, they should review, and select any baptized publisher and their minor children, who are considered to be “exemplary”. When determining who would be approved, please use your special power of reading and understanding the definition of “exemplary” found in Organized to do Jehovah’s Will (chap. 6 pp. 52-53 par.9):
“An individual who is exemplary is someone who acts like they are happy in company but really need to use the bathroom, who looks at pictures of paradise and animals in our literature in a longing way, and are considered worthy of imitation. His or her attendance at indoctrination meetings, share in the literature distribution activity, mundane family life, chooses jw.org as the only form of entertainment, dresses and grooms like a poor person would look if they tried to be James Bond, and so forth are good examples for others.”od chap. 6 pp. 52-53 par. 9
Additionally, publishers who have been reproved within the last three years or those who have been reinstated within the last five years, should not be recommended until this time has elapsed, even if they are currently considered exemplary. The reason for this is found in no biblical text or has any precedence in scripture but neither does our stance on beards. So, just follow the rules, okay? Neither would it be appropriate to submit recommendations for publishers who were child abusers, murderers, rapists or swingers because their use in a video could cause problems or controversy in the congregation or circuit. However, please do not exclude any publisher unless they do not meet the above-mentioned spiritual qualifications. Previous acting experience is not required as we need you to maintain your cult-like stance.
What needs to be done after the Congregation Service Committee makes their selections? Please follow these steps in the order they are listed:
- List all approved publishers, their minor children, and the requested details about each individual on the attached spreadsheet.
- Return the completed spreadsheet to: [email protected] Please do not approach the publishers to ask them if they wish to be involved before placing them on the list. Because as a religious organization, we do not need to ask their permission – we can break the law because we’re a religion. Religious Freedom trumps human rights.
- After returning the completed spreadsheet, then send the “Australasia Regional Video Team Invitation” PDF as an attachment via email to the approved publishers. The PDF you send them contains a link to the video referenced in this letter, and a link to the Formstack form for the Publisher to complete if they are willing to be involved in a possible audition. In your email message body to the Publisher, please write:
Dear [INSERT PUBLISHER NAME],
Please see the attached invitation from the Australasia Regional Video Team for your follow-up.
[INSERT YOUR NAME]
If a publisher experiences problems opening the link to the video, it is likely a matter of using a different browser. Please assist them by having them open the link in another browser E.G Google Chrome, Safari or on another device if needed.
If a publisher has any other questions after they have read the email and watched the video, simply refer them back to the video or request that they forward their questions to the inbox listed at the bottom of the message they were sent. Because usually a re-watch of the video will answer all their questions. If after watching it and the same question keeps cropping up, then they need to watch it again. We hope this will reduce the number of questions to the inbox listed at the bottom. Saying that, our team will be very happy to answer any questions they may have.
If a publisher from your congregation is being considered to participate in an actual video project sometime in the future, your Congregation Service Committee will be contacted again to ensure that the publisher still qualifies, and has freedom of speech for the particular role they would be portraying. You’ll do as before, meet together and one of you will talk out loud before giving him / her the freedom of speech because in God’s organization, speech is restricted unless we say so.
We know that all of you as appointed men already have much to do in caring for Kingdom interests. We know this because we’re smart and we have a good idea how elders operate. Please know that as elders, your full support of this important initiative of the Teaching Committee will contribute greatly to the success of this project. After all, this project will help you forget that paradise is not coming any time soon, just media production sets.
Thank you for all of your hard work! If you have any questions please feel free to contact the RVT at [email protected]
A copy of the original files are found here: